technology!

I have had to copy my posts here as I had entered my email address as .com instead of .co.uk and as you do not need to verify your account, and I can not remember my password to the address I entered I can not log in!

So here I am!

Hope you stick with me!
xx

Easter

Yesterday was ok. I had wholemeal pasta with various veg. I got peckish later on and had some dates. All in all a good day.

Today I have my usual breakfast of weetabix with raisins. Lunch was my grans homemade potatoes cakes. She comes up on a friday. She again was going on about weight but I just busied myself with other things. I wasn;t going to let it affect me today.

We are having tuna salad with new potaoes for tea. I am looking forward to it actually.

I usually go to aqua aerobics on a Tuesday eve but we have missed for two weeks for one reason or another. Hopefully we will be back to it this week!

I will weigh in on Sunday- although without my aerobic this week I don;'t know if I will have lost. I am hping controlling my food intake will have some effect.

I dont do enough exercise. 1 hour aqua aerobics is not enough.. better than nothin at all.. but still not enough. Trouble is i HATE exercise!! More than that- i loathe it! I tried the gym but find it soooo boring on the bikes and treadmil. Plus i had to walk 20 mins to get there. By that time the last thing i wanted to do was hop on a treadmill! I did enjoy the weights though.

If it wasn;t for my friend calling for me on a tuesday, i doubt I would even make aqua! I need someone to literally take my hand with exercise. I need to find something else to do in the week- any takers?!??

I am not looking forward to Easter Sunday. Already eggs are appearing here for Emily despite telling various relatives to send money or a t-shirt instead. It is such a temptation. Not only do I not want to stuff my face, I also dont want Emily to gorge on chocolate either. Trouble is- the temptation will be there until it is all gone! She has several eggs here already and has others at her dads house I am told.

I dont want her to do without at Easter.. just one would be enough! Does that make me mean??

SO the problem is- do I allow myself some chocolate or do I ignore it and crave it? If I allow myself will I loose control and gorge on it?! If I crave it will I just give in anyway?

I doubt my self control.

I am aware that I am just rambling on my internal thoughts here so I will stop writing for now!!!

Much love

xx

Family

Morning all,
Why do family members say the most unhelpful things!?!
Long story short... gran said "you have weight on you that is soft weight. you dont look solid its like fat"

This was just after we had come back from watching my daughter in her easter concerst at nursery. She won in the raffle a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine. So i though I would be good and opened them when a few of my family came back to mine yesterday. I figured having 5 chocolates was better then scoffing the whole box ful!!

I felt rubbish at what my gran had said but proud of myself for only having the 5 chocolates! Normally I'd have sat in front of the telly and eaten them until I felt sick!

Tea was grilled sausages (as they had been reduced in morrisons!!) boiled potatoes and steamed green beans. 3 boiled new potatoes looks nothing on a plate, but if you slice each one it makes the plate look full!

I was doing ok until I sat in the eving and wallowed in the comment my gran had said... next followed half a packet of jaffa cakes!! oh dear... annoyed with myself now! Gran had brought them for Emily! I had made a point of shoping yesterday and NOT buying any sweet things... I had stocked up on fruit and veg to nibble on yet the first sign of chocolate and I'm comfort eating!

So i am feeling a little mixed today... as a whole- 5 chocolates and half packet of jaffas wasnt the best day... but I did have self control earlier in the day and shared the chocolates.

So here I am having my weetabix with raisins which I really enjoy. I am going to pre-chop some carrot to nibble on if I need it later. Today is another day (and my gran isnt coming today!)


Thank you to those who have stopped by :-)
Claire x

new beginnings

I have had an awful cold over the weekend and shocked myself when I stood on the scales and realised I had lost 6lb... just because I was only eating when my body needed to as I felt rough. I am hoping this will be the springboard I need to stick at the weight loss thing.

I have tried many times before.. lost about a stone and a half but then i give up as i expect myself to fail.. the pounds then creep back on.

I have to do it this time.

My friend is gettin married in 2010 and wants me to be a bridesmaid- i do not want to be the whale in a dress! I looked bad enough in a skirt at my brothers weddings nevermind a bridesmaid dress in 2 yrs time!

I do not want to be superskinny.

I am a size 18 jeans (just) and a 20 top (dam my large boobs)

Only once in my life was I a small size 12 and my hip and rib bones stuck out. It was achieved in a very unhealthy way too (some will know, others wont). I would be happy if I could buy a 14 dress off any hanger.

My first goal is to hit a 16 jeans. if I could be there for summer I would be very happy. I do not know if this is realistic for a first target... but thats what it is!

I am feeling ok about it all today... my food has been as follows-

two weetabix with semi skimmed milk and a handfull of raisins on top.
two small cobs with turkey, lettace NO butter. Spoonful of low fat cottage cheese.

I'm on my 3rd pint of water as I write this.. well water with a dash of cordial as I cant stand drinking straight water!

I should prbably aim for skimmed milk at breakfast but it tastes like dishwater to me!!


I am unsure what to have for tea as yet. Maybe wholemeal pasta something or other.

Thats all for now!
TTFN
xx

well here I am

Well... here I am

Here I am!
After reading Natalie's blog I have finally decided it is about time I did someting about my figure... or lack of it! My shape can only be described as round!

There seems to be a baby boom at the moment. Mums at nursery and friends around me are having sprogs! They all then complain about needing to loose baby weight (despite only looking like a size 8).. I too have baby weight to loose... excepy my 'baby' is now 4 years old!!

In fairness.. some of my weight is post baby bulge, but a fair amount has just piled on over the last few years as well.

My biggest problem is that I comfort eat... I eat to make myself feel better... I also eat when I am happy... I eat when I am not hungery.. in fact I seem to always eat! There is no need for it. I have no excuse for doing this. I replace one coping mechanism with another- and for a long time, food has been my answer.

This has to change.

My daughter will be going to school in September and I don't want to be the mum who is too unfit and unhealthy to do sports day races. I also know children are hurtful with words and say what they think- I dont want her friends to say she has a fat mum.

I am not brave enough to put my weight or my measurements on here. Even though friends know my size it is still shamefull and I just cant do it.

I hope this can be a place where I can vent my frustrations about food and life in general! But also share my achievements (yes, I know that is me actually being positive!)



I ask a plea of encouragement as I will need all the help I can get!


Love to all
Claire
x